Ramblings on My Dating Style

Note: This one is a bit rambly. I also must apologize for the multitude of post today. I had started blogging on another site, didn't like, and moved/updated the first two post on here.

Okay, so we all know dating is hard, that's a no brainer. Luckily, I'm not relationship hungry - I'd like to find a good man (who wouldn't?) but I'm content as I am. That's kinda the way I've always been. I'll date, as in keep my eye out, but I don't go "on the hunt" like a lot of people I know. Yeah, that makes it harder, but like I said I'm in no rush. Besides, I make things harder on myself anyway, so what's one more thing? And I don't date just to date.
For instance, I won't go on a date with someone I don't feel a connection with. Women can tell within 3 seconds of a man if they would ever sleep with him. I'm not superficial, it's just that without chemistry, you've got friendship potential, not relationship potential. Second, I have the same thing going with conversations as I do the physical aspects. I can tell if I am attracted to a man's personality fairly quickly. Obviously, it takes time to get to know someone, but I have pretty good intuition as far as if we could "click" or not. So I have to have that little bit of a connection first. I know most people say "Go and see what happens." Personally, I can't do it. I feel like I'm wasting their time and mine.
I also complicate things a little further because while I can be extremely naughty and love to be, 99% if the time it's within a relationship. (For the 1% see previous post) That way I can be as bad as I want to be without feeling guilty later. This is a hard concept for some men. That a woman can be highly sexual and still a trustworthy non-slut is apparently hard to grasp for some. I don't know why, but it is at least in my experience.
They also have a hard time aligning that side of me with the outside of the bedroom me, who is really a good girl with a tender heart. Once I decide to give my heart away, I give my whole heart. I've never cheated in my life - ever. The one time I came sort of close I was seeing a man but we had not become exclusive and it was casual... no sleeping together yet. Well, at a party I came fairly close to sleeping with an ex. I don't know why, as the other guy and I had only been out a few times and weren't committed, but I felt so bad that I left the party and drove straight to his apartment and told on myself. No kidding. I just couldn't actually cheat, I don't have the heart to hurt someone like that and wouldn't want to.
I can be so deep and so silly, though luckily I can appreciate when it's appropriate for each. I try to be good, and usually am, but I do have that wild side. It' s hard for a man to see both in one woman, much less let me misbehave with him without him seeing my good side as well, less. So I'm a little tricky. I like a man who is the same way. Obviously that isn't easy to find either.
On top of all those added difficulties, is the fact that I don't chase men. Period. It's not a game thing, I hate game playing in relationships. I'm pretty straightforward for the most part. The thing is, I'm not in a big hurry, not looking for a bed buddy, and not one to just date people to have something to do. I've got to be interested or it's just not fair to anybody. Besides, if I'm gonna put my heart out there, it's not going to be for someone who is lukewarm. If they aren't interested enough to make the effort, neither am I. If they do, I will meet them halfway, but who wants to chase lukewarm? I've never understood that.
So yeah, they have to show obvious interest, though Lord knows being as blunt as I am I prefer the kind of straightforward "I like you, I want to get to know you" that is hard for some people to say. I get that, I wait to see that interest first (still that 1% exception - that whole stopgap thing was broken if you'll remember), but it makes you feel a little better about taking a chance.
So far, of course, only being a week into deciding to be a willing participant in the dating game, there's not been anything to get excited about. The same old drunk phone call I get on a regular basis (more about that in another post) and one well meaning, but not gonna happen date request. That's okay though, I'm just wrapping my head around it anyway, and like I said, I'm not in any big hurry.