Cancer Girl

I have a really good friend that has always been known for a few things. She's outspoken and very kind, and she loves to have a good time but is the first one there if you need her. At least thats how she was known before, as in before she started dealing with cancer. For some reason, some people cannot see past the illness. Friends of old avoid her, not knowing what to say, and people who would be new friends have bad reactions to the news and leave hurt feelings behind. It's almost as if she has to keep it a secret, as if she'd done something wrong, in order to keep from being known as the "Cancer Girl". Or from well meaning people looking at her with such pity, when she is not going to die from this at all, and feels the pity is misplaced. It makes her uncomfortable when people don't see her, they just see her as sick. Their perception of her changes. She is still the same person, the very same, but nobody sees her, maybe out of fear of the big "C" word or facing their own mortality. Why some people react that way is easy to see, what isn't so easy for those who haven't been there is to see how that makes someone feel. As if they are hiding a dirty secret, or somehow damaged or less of a person, or not just seen for who they are instead of what they are dealing with. So in honor of her, I write this post for those who do check in every day, so maybe if they have a friend or loved one in that position, they can see how they, and their reactions, can makes things easier, rather than harder, and how they can help. Take it to heart, please, as people like my friend surely do.