The Old Friend

I mentioned drunken phone calls in my last post, and most of those are from Old Friend, and he warrants some background and info. It started years ago, when I was 17. We met at a party where he proposed after seeing me funnel. Obviously this wasn't a real proposal, but a few days later I ran into him and somehow, laughing over the proposal turned into a two hour conversation followed by dancing and kissing in the rain to a song I will always associate with him.
We dated a bit, but of course, I wanted a little more emotion and well, that's not his thing. I did get a love song from him, which was at that point shocking because I had thought there was nothing there for him, instead of him just hating talking about that stuff. I still smile thinking about it. Somehow, we turned that, even after breaking up (not messy or anything) into and 11 year , hmmm, thing.
Off and on, for all this time, we would hang out, hook up, whatever. Hence, many drunken phone calls have been received. No, it's not just a sex thing, either. Many nights we could lay there on his couch, listen to great music, and just hang out. Obviously, none of this happened when I was in a relationship, as I said I'm not a cheater. We just always pick right up wherever it is we leave off. Ours is a hard "thing" to describe. I love him, I really do, it's just not the kind of love that fits the "friend" or "romantic" profile. It's all in it's own world. He tells me he loves often... more in a joking way or getting off the phone, and I think he does in our weird way.
So why hasn't this become more? Easy. I like emotion from a man, a few deep conversations, etc. He's capable, I saw that with the song, it's just not his way. Secondly, he's a confirmed bachelor. He's quite a bit older and still acts like a teenager - which is fine - everybody loves him as he is. My life is the polar opposite and full of responsibilities. Neither of us could live in the others world, but it's a nice place to visit. I feel comfy and peaceful with him. Like he's my own personal Jimmy Buffet.
In all honesty, if he could step up the emotional side, I would be happy with him and our easy breezy, not clingy type thing. Alas, it's not gonna happen and I need that to be happy so we just enjoy whatever it is we have. It's actually been years since we've slept together... and that's really not what it's about. We just fit in such an odd way, and we've been at this so long, and through at least one big deal, that he's got his own place in my heart.
Surprisingly, very few people are aware of any of it. My ex found out of course when he asked the dating history questions, and was shocked even though we live in a little town where everyone knows everyone and everyone's business. I always kind of liked it that way. Not that I'm ashamed... it's just not an easy thing for people to understand. He's seen as the bachelor king, which he will never settle down, and he is an overgrown kid in alot of ways. There's alot more to him to that though. Nobody wants to see everybody's favorite party guy as getting lonely, or needing to be loved like the rest of us. I like that I've gotten to see that over the years, as strange as it my sound.
Anyway, I'm rambling again. I just know that he will be a part of this blog occasionally and I wanted to share someone who has been a big part of my life. There is something absolutely comforting about not seeing someone for months and being able to knock on their door anytime, unannounced, and know that you're welcome. That's him for me, good friend, sometimes been lover, and absolute comfort zone.