I mentioned in my last post that I literally stumbled back into the dating scene. Seeing as it did get the ball rolling, it warrants a post of it's own. It all started when I reconnected with a old friend of the female persuasion and we got to be pretty close. She knew all about the Ex, and that while I was being asked out, etc., I wasn't really dating at the moment. Still, she had this friend (of course) that she wanted to introduce me too. Sure, I said, you know I'm not really dating right now, but I'm always up for making new friends. So she starts telling me about this guy, and I have to tell you, I went from up to making new friends to interested. He's a teacher, good with kids, a coach of my favorite sport, and an all around great guy that has been run over a few times like I have. He's a deep thinker, emotional, and loves long talks into the night. He also plays guitar and sings in a band, so he's a music lover, too.
Now, I'm not the superficial type at all. Of course, I love certain traits on a male like most women do. Big arms, dimples, cleft chins, big guys in general... that's my preference, but I really need his insides to be great to find a man hot. This guy had all of my mental/emotional turn ons down pat, and there was a ton of things we had in common. So already my interest is piqued based on what she knows about him, and when she invited me to a cookout so we could meet, I was up for it.
A day or so later she points me to his myspace page so I can get an idea of what he looks like, and OMG. It was like I got to draw the man who fits my physical preferences to a tee. Huge arms, big guy, cleft chin... all around just hot. I immediately messaged her to PLEASE make sure I nurse the beer we're all planning to drink at the cookout. I am straight forward sober. Get me drunk, and that stopgap between my head and my mouth shuts down completely. Not to mention I'd been celibate for six months as far as sex with other people go, and lets face it, battery operated orgasms get the job done and keep people like me who adore sex from becoming homicidal, but it's just not the same. I knew I was in trouble.
So the day of the cookout arrives, and while I'm interested in Mr. Perfect, I'm really ready for a night out because it had been longer than I could remember... way back into the old relationship, that I had a good one, much less one with drinking.
Now this cookout would be my first time meeting her husband, who I am glad she found because she is a sweetheart and he is a great man. It was also supposed to be a three couple event, plus me and Mr. Perfect. Unfortunately, couple number one flaked, and couple number two ended up having to babysit my friends kids so we could still have an adult evening. So, it's down to my friend, her husband, me and Mr. Perfect.
He's late, so we all start on the abundance of beer while friends hubby makes what turns out to be some awesome steak, and my friend kicks in some sides that would make your mouth water. When he shows up, I look down and he's wearing cowboy boots. Right then I knew I was sunk... I love me some country boys and boots. He's nice, we're all having a good time and laughing, telling old stories and getting more buzzed by the minute and eating a little food to go with the beer. Then someone suggested we play cards, and we flashbacked to our younger days and decided to play a drinking game. Out comes the tequila to go with the beer.
As drinking games go this one did it's job, and many more shots and beers later we were all pretty drunk and had been having a ball. The only down time that came in was when he told us all a bit about his childhood, which was not pleasant as far as that part went. He had me and my friend in tears, and of course I just wanted to make it all better. (No, that was not a sex thing, that was a touched in the heart thing)
We decided everyone should stay put as nobody could drive, and couple friend heads off to bed. By this time, I'd already been running that mouth when sexual comments were made, and was really turned on. We head to the couch all snuggly, and he says he doesn't want to go to fast. Usually I feel the same way, but that night was an exception to the rule. So I tell him I'll respect him for it... in the morning.
So we're chatting it up, all cozy on the couch and he ask if he can kiss me. Umm, yeah. Well, there we went, it was hot and heavy fast. I have a tendency to talk dirty and there was a lot of that, a little grinding, getting pretty intense. He says oh we can't. Ugh. So I say okay, we chat maybe two minutes, and he says let me eat you out. I said no way, we go that route and I wont be happy without him being inside me. He lays one on me and there we go again, intense as hell.
We go back and forth from the we cant to might as well be for quite some time. I'm having a ball, as he's kinky, not shy... all the things I am in bed and love in a man. He ask for, and gets, to watch me get myself off, which turns him on more and hardly satisfies me as worked up as I am. Finally we couldn't not finish it and head to a bedroom once we realize all of this activity has taken place on the couch in the living room. Let me just say it was great. He made me come so many times I lost count. It was so hot and so wild and lasted forever.
So the next morning, I wake up deliciously sore and in a great mood. I get up to go the bathroom and he pulls me back to the bed. I tell him I have got to pee, and he lets me up. As I get halfway awake, I realize with great astonishment that I'm not hungover. This is itself a miracle as my country girl, nonstop party, drink any man under the table days went out a long time ago when responsibility set in. I also realize my friends kids will be home later on and I probably need to get going. So I get my clothes and get ready to go and kiss a sleeping Mr. Perfect on the cheek and tell him I need to go. His response: "You ass." He pulled me back on the bed, kissed me and asked me to stay with him awhile. So I snuggle back up to him, we cuddle a while and then go for round fifty. I point out as I lay there completely satisfied that her kids will be home soon and we probably need to get on out of there.
We get dressed, mull around a minute, and he comes up behind me giving me a long squeeze and telling me he's glad he met me. Me too I say. Then as we're walking out the door to get in our cars, he says "I should get your number." But, he doesn't ask for it, or make an attempt to grab something to write it down, so an awkward moment passes and we get in our cars and go with a smile and a wave.
Of course, I've had a few nights like those in the past, but it's been a long time and those were my younger wilder days. Somehow though, I don't feel guilty at all, and instead feel guilty for not feeling guilty. That's really not my style at all to sleep with a man that soon, but I decide not to beat myself up for it. He was after all Mr.Perfect, as far as he fit all the "wants" I would list as far as the type of man he is and his physical attributes. I was beyond drunk, and I'd had a rough year. Besides, I had so much fun.
So what happened to Mr. Perfect? No idea. I may be straight forward, and sexually aggressive in bed (me loves me some being dominated, too, though) , but I don't chase men, period. I did send a quick myspace that said something to the effect of nice to meet you, I had fun. I do that with everybody I've just met, male or female, so no biggie. He says, you too, I had fun as well. That was it. The not interested vibe was out there like the proverbial elephant in the room. Our mutual friend is good friends with us both, and he knows where to find me, so the non attempt at communication was like a screaming "No thanks." Besides, I've never been a fan of the wait a week to call rule. If the man is really into you, he'll get in touch fairly quickly. If he's only lukewarm, well I dont invest much in that. In this case however, it was on obvious blow off.
Anyway, in the interest of limiting any awkwardness at bound to be future gatherings, and because I chat with everybody and am a myspace addict, I wanted to make sure he didn't feel awkward or think I was stalking him if I said hi on myspace. (We all know how men can take that leap from hey how are you to "Oh no she's in love with me.") So as I sent out Halloween comments to all my myspace friends, I sent him one as well, along with the message "Don't worry. I completely caught the not interested vibe, just being friendly. :) Have a fun Halloween and good luck on Friday." (Big game) Response, nil. So my attempt at keeping future awkward moments for him or our mutual friend at bay apparently didn't work. Oh well, I tried.
I'll admit I'm disappointed. We clicked well, have a ton in common, and the chemistry was there. That's not an everyday thing. It was however, obviously one sided or I wouldn't have gotten blown off. I'll probably wonder from time to time what happened, but just like I'm not the type to chase a man, I'm not the type to dwell on someone who isn't interest either.
So, to recap, I met a man with all the qualities I want except for wanting me. Instead of coming out of it with a potential relationship, or even a friendship - we would've made great friends under different circumstances, I came away with the realization that I did want to find someone with all those traits and see where it goes, and a good memory and no regrets. That was last weekend, and this week finds me back in the game. I know what I'm looking for in a man, and everybody wants to find the one, or we wouldn't put ourselves through the ugly business of dating. But I'm in no rush, and fully prepared to enjoy the ride, even if it gets a little bumpy.
- CG
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