Drunken Communications

So I had a few drinks last night. Shoot me. Being bar nervous and all, I still needed to blow off a little steam. Enter another of my bad habits - drinking and dialing, and it's just as dangerous cousin, drinking and typing. Yup, I am that friend who will call you out of the blue, with a buzz, to tell you I love you, or just talk about the song on the radio - I need no valid reason at these times.
First thing this morning, then, I browse on and offline sent boxes. I must say I did pretty well. Nothing too damaging or embarrassing. One friend got a "f--- me i drunk" message, which would have only made her laugh. Another got a valid message "u r drunk or you've been phished." Clear thinking on my part, because he had, indeed been phished. No problem there.
I made a few calls, but I didn't think any of those were too bad, so I was actually okay with the fact that I forgot to hide my phone from myself or tape it up altogether. That was until... love that word huh, until I got a semi-serious message on my voicemail this morning.
Apparently at some point last night I decided to try a new angle on Old Friends habit of calling drunk to say he loves me. I called him drunk, and left the message "I don't love you. Not even a little bit, not even at all." Of course, he missed the Green and Eggs and Ham type rhyme I was saying because I must've started speaking before his voicemail started recording. Hence, he did not get the fact that I was playing. Inebriated, yes, that fact was obvious, but it was painfully obvious he was afraid I was upset with him. Way to go me.
All is well, a laugh was had at the explanation, and I am glad I didn't call Mr. Perfect to laugh about the naked dream, so it could've been worse. Still, I wish there was a way to hide all forms of communication from myself just in case.