Better Grab a Snack....Another Novel

Ever had a string of bad days? That's been me the last little bit - much drama, which I hate. First it started with the guy friend who assumed I should sleep with him and actually seemed perturbed that I didn't. All this time I thought we were friends, when he was really just hoping one day he'd get into my pants. That sucks.
Then, the guy friend I super novel blogged about because I couldn't stop worrying about how much pain he was in. Well, since, as I said in the blog, we hadn't been able to sit down or have more than chit chat conversation, I just decided to send him my thoughts. He knew I'd been wanting to talk to him about something, but you still hate to drop something that heavy without introduction. So rather than text (the lack of tone and body language to read makes miscommunication too easy when it goes past chit chat) , I left a voicemail to the effect of "Since we still hadn't had time to have a sit down I just sent all that stuff to you". Not exact words at all, just what I meant. I didn't think a thing of it.
Fast forward to yesterday, sitting there chatting with a mutual friend of mine and said guys, and she says he sent her a text message asking what my problem was and that I had "crawled all over him" for not talking to me as much as I thought he should, and he liked me alot but wasn't ready to get married. I know! WHAT? We're not dating, and I'm not trying, so the married comment was a bit much. And to beat it all, I wasn't even remotely mad or fussing or anything of the sort. So I sat there, highly confused, told her the situation and she, too was highly confused.
She said he's just sensitive and took it the wrong way. Ya think? I knew that sensitive part, which was why I opted to call rather than text to avoid miscommunication. So I sent him a text later and basically took the blame cause who really care about the right or wrong issue, and letting him know I was in no way mad nor had any reason to be, and what the intent of the message was. I then told him I should just leave him alone because that's like the third time he got pissed at something I said because he took it differently than I meant it. The whole reason for talking to him was liking him as a person and trying to cheer him up, be a good friend. Obviously I was failing at that. Then the more I thought about it the more it bugged me. Yeah, sometimes I am confusing. I get that. Men aren't used to a woman giving a crap without wanting something from them, so that doesn't help. Plus, I say what I think and how I see things. Thing is, because of that, no one I know very well has ever asked me "Are you mad at me?" If you have to ask, with me, the answer is no. Its pretty damn obvious if I'm pissed off. What kept bugging me was the married comment. I'm not even trying to date him! I didn't want anything from him, the point was to give here, not receive. It wasn't the misunderstanding, just that comment. So I was ill.
Here comes the really bad part. I man I've known a long time who was friends with my ex died. It was sad, awful and you know me, on my mind alot. Then I read the obit in the paper yesterday and for some reason it just really hit hard. We weren't close, so I didn't get it, but I just got soooo down about it all. Then I had an uber crazy dream that helped me realize what was going on and why it was hitting me so hard. So that's good, and it actually makes me feel better about that. But I spent most of last night crying over this guys death and how it would hurt those around him, the death of a long standing friendship and how that friend made me feel like crap, and then failing miserably on my cheer up mission. Its just been a long, long year and my tolerance is pretty low at this point. I feel better know that I have some understanding of why this death hit me so hard which got me down to start with and the rest just snowballed. I do know one thing, I will be celebrating the end of this year and the new beginning more than I have ever celebrated or appreciated New Years in my life.